Handling bossy and intimidating people

I expected these people to be spiritual rather than carnal.

However, through the years I have come to realize that believers are more likely to be carnal than they are to be spiritual. After all, most of the books of the New Testament address carnal issues among first century Christians.

Remember, people have become difficult because being difficult has worked for them.

Basically they are fearful of close personal relationships that would require them to be emotionally vulnerable.

Be glad you aren't married to them or don't have to live with them." The Bible gives us some practical guidelines for managing difficult people. Both of these passages instruct us to confront difficult people privately and in love.

Take the initiative; but in doing so, be sure you are fair, firm and friendly.

handling bossy and intimidating people-81handling bossy and intimidating people-49

" This relieves you of being further involved and allows others in the group to confront the person for you. Usually they themselves are frightened or frustrated. In the end, you will probably have to make a decision for them by saying something such as, "It might be better if you would..." 5. When they go on and on, don't be afraid to say: "Look, Jim, in a half-hour I have something else I have to do. Be ready to take positive action in spite of what they say. Talk to them about their lack of conversation and challenge them to express themselves. This works well with people who are willing to be flexible with you, but, often, difficult people are difficult because they are so rigid.So once you know you are being fair with them, be firm with them.Avoid the temptation to take them on in front of the group. Let them know you thought they were digging at you and ask them, "Did you mean it that way? They feel their lives are under the control of people who can't be trusted. Many times managing difficult people can tell you as much about yourself as it does about them." If they attempt to dismiss their remarks as a joke, agree that the joke was funny, but then add something such as, "But I thought I heard a dig in the tone of your voice." If circumstances require you to confront the person in front of the group, don't take him or her on directly. You must confront their "yes, but..." attitude with a positive statement of your own. You will need to describe for them what you propose to do. To foster your own growth, write down the things about these people that annoy you. Remember the guidelines in Matthew -17 and Ephesians . Dobbins is a respected Christian psychologist, minister and author.

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